A blessed Memorial Day. Remember who it is about

Memorial Day, observed today, May 26, 2025, at 12:14 PM EDT, is a solemn U.S. federal holiday dedicated to honoring military personnel who died in service to their country. Its significance lies in remembering the heroic dead—those who made the ultimate sacrifice for the nation’s values and freedoms—not the living, including active service members or veterans, who are rightfully celebrated on other occasions like Veterans Day.

The focus on the fallen gives the day its profound weight, but when current or recent military personnel attempt to coopt Memorial Day to promote themselves, it risks dishonoring the very sacrifices the holiday is meant to commemorate.

Originally called Decoration Day, Memorial Day began after the Civil War to honor Union and Confederate soldiers who perished, with communities decorating graves to acknowledge their ultimate sacrifice. Over time, it evolved to memorialize all American service members who died in any conflict, from World War I to modern wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The day is a time to reflect on the cost of war and the selflessness of those who gave their lives, not to celebrate military service broadly or individual achievements of the living.

Ceremonies at places like Arlington National Cemetery, with its rows of white headstones, or the laying of wreaths at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, emphasize this singular focus. The National Moment of Remembrance at 3:00 PM local time calls for a minute of silence to honor these fallen heroes, while traditions like flying flags at half-staff until noon or wearing red poppies, inspired by In Flanders Fields, symbolize the blood they shed.

The distinction between honoring the dead and celebrating the living is critical. Memorial Day is not about thanking active-duty personnel or veterans but about commemorating those who never returned home—soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines who died at places like Gettysburg, Normandy, or Fallujah, ensuring the nation’s survival and ideals.

When current or recent military personnel use the day to promote themselves—whether through self-aggrandizing posts on platforms like X, public appearances that center their own service, or framing the holiday as a general celebration of the military—they inadvertently shift the spotlight from the fallen. This can feel like a dishonor to those who paid the ultimate price, as it dilutes the day’s purpose and turns a solemn remembrance into a platform for personal recognition.

Such actions, even if well-intentioned, risk overshadowing the sacrifices of those who cannot speak for themselves. For example, a living service member highlighting their own achievements or experiences on Memorial Day—perhaps by sharing stories of their service or seeking public praise—can draw attention away from the fallen, whose voices are silent. This is particularly poignant when families of the deceased gather at gravesites or memorials, seeking to keep their loved ones’ sacrifices alive in collective memory. The poppy, a symbol of those who died, isn’t worn for the living; it’s a tribute to those buried beneath fields of sacrifice. Veterans and active-duty members have their own day—November’s Veterans Day—to be honored, and conflating the two holidays undermines the unique gravity of Memorial Day.

To truly honor the fallen, the day calls for humility and reflection, not self-promotion. Visiting cemeteries, attending memorial services, or quietly reflecting on the courage of those lost ensures their legacy endures. The focus must remain on those who gave everything, not on those who, however honorably, continue to serve or have served. If current or recent military personnel wish to participate, they can best honor the fallen by amplifying their stories—perhaps by sharing tributes to specific fallen comrades or supporting organizations like the Wounded Warrior Project that aid families of the deceased—rather than centering themselves.

Summary of U.S. Military Deaths in Prominent Wars

The scale of loss in U.S. wars highlights why Memorial Day’s focus on the fallen is so vital. Below is a summary of approximate U.S. military deaths in major conflicts, drawn from historical records and Department of Defense data. These numbers reflect battle deaths and, where noted, include deaths from disease or other non-combat causes during wartime, as these were significant in earlier conflicts:

• Revolutionary War (1775–1783): ~25,000 deaths. About 6,800 died in battle, with the rest from disease, starvation, or captivity-related causes, fighting for independence from Britain.

• Civil War (1861–1865): ~620,000 total deaths (Union and Confederate). Union losses were ~365,000 (110,000 in battle, ~255,000 from disease/other causes); Confederate losses were ~255,000 (94,000 in battle, ~161,000 from disease/other). This remains the deadliest U.S. war, with sacrifices on both sides shaping the nation’s future.

• World War I (1917–1918): ~116,500 deaths. Approximately 53,400 were combat-related, with ~63,100 from disease (notably the 1918 flu pandemic) and other causes, as U.S. forces fought in Europe.

• World War II (1941–1945): ~405,400 deaths. Around 291,600 were combat deaths, with ~113,800 from accidents, disease, or other non-combat causes, across global theaters like Normandy and Iwo Jima.

• Korean War (1950–1953): ~36,600 deaths. About 33,700 were combat-related, with ~2,900 from other causes, during the fight against North Korean and Chinese forces.

• Vietnam War (1955–1975): ~58,200 deaths. Approximately 47,400 were combat deaths, with ~10,800 from accidents or other causes, in a divisive conflict that left a lasting impact.

• Gulf War (1990–1991): ~383 deaths. About 147 were combat-related, with ~236 from accidents or other causes, in the brief but intense Operation Desert Storm.

• Iraq War (2003–2011): ~4,500 deaths. Around 3,500 were combat-related, with ~1,000 from non-combat causes, during the U.S.-led invasion and occupation.

• Afghanistan War (2001–2021): ~2,400 deaths. Approximately 1,900 were combat-related, with ~500 from non-hostile causes, in the longest U.S. war.

These figures, totaling over 1.2 million across these conflicts, represent only a portion of the lives lost in U.S. military history. Each number is a story of sacrifice, from the minutemen of the Revolution to the service members in Afghanistan. Memorial Day exists to ensure these fallen heroes, not the living, remain the focus of our remembrance.

If you’re looking for ways to honor the fallen locally, share your location, and I can search for specific Memorial Day events, ceremonies, or community tributes near you, or check X for posts about local remembrances that keep the focus on the heroic dead.

Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address

Delivered on November 19, 1863, at the dedication of the Soldiers’ National Cemetery in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address eloquently captures the purpose of Memorial Day by honoring those who died and calling on the living to ensure their sacrifice was not in vain. Its words remain a fitting tribute to all who have fallen:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.