The next 2 months of my life are going to be different than any before.

As of today, I have lived 731 months but the next 2 will be unlike anything I have ever experienced in my somewhat sheltered, boring and tragic life.

In the 2 months between today- August 13th, 2025- and the anniversary of the miracle at Fatima- October 13th- I am set to experience a lifetime of impactful experiences in which I will travel the farthest I have ever traveled in each direction- North, South, East and West.

I honestly have had difficulty processing it as I have gotten closer because it is such a radical departure from anything I have experienced in at least a decade and, really, ever. This is just so much bigger than a series of trips and every single part of it holds some sort of meaning whether miraculous or merely symbolic.

The next two Fridays kind of really set this into motion because they recognize the day Mother Mary was taken into heaven (The Assumption- a holy day of obligation) and the day she was crowned as Queen of Heaven and earth.

That makes this first day appropriate for in my daily Rosary for this intention I prayed Wednesday's mysteries, the Glorious mysteries. The last 2 Glorious mysteries are, in fact, the Assumption and Coronation of Mary. Though we are in agreement with our protestant brothers and sisters on most of the 20 mysteries of the Rosary, these are 2 that set us apart.

In many ways, Mary is a centerpiece of all of this and her intercession is what I seek in ways miraculous and mysterious, in big places and small. In substance and symbolism, in search and petition, I am seeking to reverse or lessen the damage of past events, to make sense of the senseless and to hope, even beyond the seemingly hopeless.

A football game?

It may not seem logical that these would the focal point of the start of this journey but, in a quest of desperation, a person clings to every symbol that he can cling to.

My desperation is in reconciling with my kids after nearly 8 years of estrangement. One of the very last times that I saw my daughter Melissa was the day after I moved out of the house in Sterling, Virginia seeking a fresh start.

I went to Melissa's house to watch our Blessed Mother's team- Notre Dame. Me and my kids had many enjoyable moments watching Notre Dame football and, on this day, I needed something- anything to be happy about.

Like I said, in desperate times, you will grasp at anything. Seeing my beloved Fighting Irish beat the hated Miami Hurricanes would give me just a little lift. Well, it didn't turn out that way. Miami put a 41-8 beatdown on the Irish that, if I'm being perfectly honest, was actually not even as close as the score would indicate. Less than a month later, I would see my daughter for the last time in what is now almost 8 years. I am now going to the scene of the crime, clinging to psychology and symbolism and signs. I am putting my stock in a Notre Dame victory over those hated 'canes as a sign that the winds are about to change.

The scene of a senseless massacre

The private pain of separation was still fresh in my mind in February of 2018 when another event occurred in Florida. This one rocked me much worse than the game because this one opened up wide wounds and searching questions about faith and where is God in the middle of all this.

Gina Montalto was a volunteer with disadvantaged children. She was active at her Catholic parish of Mary, help of Christians in Parkland, Florida. She had just recently been confirmed. At 14 years old, Gina had already learned the values of kindness, empathy, and holiness and it would seem her family was raising her the right way- to love God, to praise God, to bless God, to Adore God and to hope in God.

On just about the most Catholic of Catholic days, when Ash Wednesday fell on the same day as a revered Catholic Saint- Saint Valentine, her parents sent her to school.

On the sacred day symbolizing both love and sacrifice, Gina was murdered in cold blood with 16 other people, within the walls of that school.

Why?

Why on this day of love, was hate allowed to win? Why did Mary, help of Christians not seem to help this Christian so devoted to her and her Divine Son?

Why did God not show the world Gina as a shining example of what the world needs now, love?

Instead, the world watched in horror as Gina lay dying on a stretcher.

Why?

Why?

Why?

For more than 7 years, I have been transfixed on this horrible event. You might even fairly say obsessed.

Why?

Because this so epitomizes the agonizing struggle I - and millions of other Christians- must conquer. It is the question of suffering and why those who often love God the most are those who suffer the most.

Saint Theresa of Avila, in a point of desperation once said to God "If this is how you treat your friends, it's no wonder you have so few of them". Singer Billy Joel was far more direct in his anti-Catholic song that stated that we might as well all give in to sin because "Only the good die young".

Exhibit 1- Marjorie Stoneman Douglass high school in Parkland, Florida.

• 17 victims each less than 50 years old.

• 16 were less than 40

• 14 were less than 19

• 7 were less than 15. This included Gina.

"If this is how You treat your friends, it's no wonder You have so few of them"

Gina was only 1 of the shining stars. She was only 1 of the people who showed kindness, courage and heroic virtue. Peter Wang, Alaina Petty, Meadow Pollack, Chris Hixon and Jaime Guttenberg were just some of the others.

They, like members of my own family, seemed to be senselessly devoured by the devil, right in front of the watchful eyes of a God who now seemed cold and indifferent to the plight of His people.

It is impossible for me to imagine anything other than the fact that the only victims that didn't cry out to God for help were the very few that were killed so suddenly that they never had time to cry out at all

God could have caused the gates to be locked but He didn't. He could have made the uber car break down or get stuck in traffic but He didn't. He could have made the killers gun jam but He didn't. He could have stopped this a hundred different ways and we are left to ponder why He didn't.

I was literally watching coverage on the news when the newscaster announced that they had just received word from the hospital the Gina Montalto didn't survive. Gina now represents to me every innocent and victimized person in this world and her parents represent the spirit of the devout Christian who will not give death it's victory. It was an honor to interview this man.

It will be an even greater and solemn honor to pray at the school where she lost her life and the church where she worshipped.

On these pilgrimages, I will be taking a rosary that was blessed in Bethlehem where Jesus was born and it will be touched to all the sacred sites- starting with the grave of Gina Rose Montalto, where I will place 14 long stem red roses.

Many sacred sites will touch this Rosary, that will be the first, about 2 weeks from now.