The approaching 1-year anniversary of the Florida trip which began this cascade of pilgrimages

Without context, it doesn't seem like such a big thing to others, but it was to me. This was the first time in 40 years that I had been on an airplane, and this trip was a breakout for me on so many levels. I made a decision in my life that I was done being the door mat and that I was going to move forward in my journey of faith whether or not those I love wanted to journey with me.

It is not that I do not have empathy for how much they have suffered. I just have no sympathy for how vindictive they have become. Instead of trying to get better, they only want to get even. What makes it worse is that they seek vengeance against the innocent as well as the guilty as if shooting the wounded will help anything.

Many people I have known have suffered crimes and tragedies every bit as horrible and unimaginable as what my family has endured. Sadly, it destroyed, or is destroying, some. On the other hand, some have risen from, or are rising from, the ashes. I decided that I needed to better understand how God's grace works in the souls of those who have broken hearts but not broken wills.

For me, this journey started with a tragedy that shook some families the way the awful things shook mine. I will never forget seeing the images on the news, as they came across live, the details and the names trickling out.

The gruesome and horrific details began to emerge. 17 dead. 17 more wounded. Thousands of lives changed forever because of the actions of a sick, psychotic, satanic animal.

L to R, T to B, Parkland fatalities Chris Hixon, Nicolas Dworet, Aaron Feis, Gina Montalto, Scott Biegel, Alyssa Alhadeff, Joaquin Oliver, Jamie Guttenberg, Martin Duque Anquiano, Meadow Pollack, Alex Schacter, Peter Wang, Helena Ramsay, Alaina Petty, Carmen Schentrup, Cara Loughran and Luke Hoyer.

Among the details I remembered was an announcement that the hospital had confirmed the death of Gina Montalto. She was just 14 years old.

Last year, we interviewed Gina's father, Tony on our podcast and we explored how this devoutly Catholic family has tried to bring good out of this senseless act of evil by trying to implement laws to keep children safe.

That is the courage I spoke of. Tony and his family could have gone into a shell and who could have blamed them? Instead, they decided to light one candle rather than curse the darkness.

So, my pilgrimage of faith started with 3 places. The first was Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school, where Gina and 16 others died that terrible day, then, Mary, Help of Christians Catholic church where they went to Mass and where her funeral was and Queen of Heaven cemetery where she was laid to rest.

Since those first days, the travel has taken me to some very incredible and miraculous places where miracles and grace seem to always be cinged with grief and sorrow.

At Santarem, I encountered a Eucharistic miracle, and I also crossed paths with Saint Carlo Acutis who died at 15. Fatima was unforgettable but so was the encounter with Francisco and Jacinta who died at 10 and 9.

Time and time again, I visited places full of grace yet places where souls died young and, in much suffering. In Lourdes, it was Bernadette. In Lisieux, it was Therese. I have grown so much in this last year as I battle my own grief. I have learned that arrogance is the vilest poison of all, humility and grace go hand in hand and suffering and sorrow are merely the stairway to heaven.