March 1st - a horrible day, one of many

On March 1st, 1998, my son died as a baby. Christian Nicholas Benko died the day he was born. For many people, this would be the worst day of their life. Sadly for us, much more horrible days would follow. Unimaginable horror.

Through a family member, I attempted to send this message to my daughter Megan today. I would be grateful if each of you would stop and say a prayer that God would bless this message.

Due to the very agonizing and personal nature of this, there will not be a follow up.

I have pretty much given up being reconciled with you 3 because you have nailed the door shut and though I think it's incredibly unfair, I have to live with it. I do want you to know that I now accept that everything you and your sister told me is true. I do not expect this revelation to make any difference but you both are entitled to this for your own validation and I have to unburden myself of the remorse of not being able to get my mind around it. I do not expect to get a response and will not follow up with another message. I owed you both this apology and I'm making it.