Sure, as Christians we have read the words. We probably have heard them at more than a few weddings. Have we ever really internalized the words from Paul's 1st letter to the Corinthians?
13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; 5 it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; 10 but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. 13 So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
When the Pastor speaks these words at the wedding, they are not a promise of perpetual marital bliss. On the contrary, they are a challenge to steel yourself against the coming winds.
Where there is love, there is suffering. but why?
The children at Fatima revealed that the devil's last, most vicious attack would be on the family. I have seen too much proof of this reality to be in any doubt of the truth of this prophecy. The devil uses every type of adversity, every type of trauma, every type of human weakness to assault the human family. He pounds people with financial difficulties, conflict, illness, tragedy and the torments of physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual issues and addictions.
He infiltrates families, churches and institutions with terrible people who do monstrous things.
Sadly, many do not survive.
On the surface, it seems cruel and indifferent of a kind and benevolent God to allow His children- even actual children- to be ravaged by the worst the world has to offer. This reality becomes even more difficult to digest when we understand that the power of God and the legions of Angels is more than sufficient t easily vanquish any foe.
Yet, through man-made atrocities and even in natural disasters, the devil unleashes his fury.
Why does God seem to remain silent while evil rages?
Of the many shocking and terrifying prophecies Our Lady made at Fatima, there is one that hits me particularly hard. Our blessed Mother said that many people will go to hell simply because they have no one to pray for them.
That is a real tragedy.
It is good for us to ponder just what this means.
It is not God who refuses to act. It is us.
It is often totally incomprehensible to us how God ties His Divine action to our cooperation and even sometimes conditions it upon that cooperation.
As Augustine put it:
Without Him, I can't,
Without me, He won't.
Why would God involve us in His work?
We must choose God
It is a simple truth that the value of something is shown by its cost. A higher value car has a higher cost, for example. The cost Jesus paid at Calvary for us should speak to us about our value to Him.
What is His value to us?
Our human nature naturally inclines to pleasure and ease. Pain and difficulty are not natural to us. They are repugnant to our nature
That we are attracted to pleasure and ease is only natural and not wrong, of itself.
It would be against nature and common sense not to appreciate the warmth of the sun on a cold day or a quiet day in the park after a long stressful week.
It is just as natural to not want to associate with bitter and nasty people whose only aim in life is to elevate themselves and destroy everyone around them.
We are called daily to act in ways that contradict our nature and in every one of these calls, we have a choice to make.
Part of the response to the Fatima message is understanding what causes people to fall into sin. Often, it is an attempt to run from painful crosses and/or to choose the less difficult path. This is especially true with addictive types of sin.
Breaking entrenched patterns of sin, selfishness and addiction can be very difficult and very painful and many people simply do not have the strength. At the core of most addiction is a bondage, usually related to trauma and tragedy.
To refuse to pray for such people or, worse yet, to hold them in contempt is exactly that lack of love Paul warned about, and Jesus condemned. It is to deny them access to God's Grace, without which they cannot hope to be unshackled. It also involves the scandal of possibly reinforcing negative images they may have of the church, of Christians and even of God. They will see God through us. If they see God as the God who mocks their chains, they can never get free.
Is that how Jesus acted? Far from it.
Jesus did not condemn the mentally ill, the broken, the possessed. He freed them. Jesus did not associate Himself with the scoffer and the hypocrite. He called them children of hell.
Jesus explained plainly that how we tread the least ones is how we treat Him.
A good practice is to include in your daily prayers, those who have no one else to pray for them. It just may be that the most disagreeable person you know is that way because he/she is at the end of their rope. You are not required to be their best friend. It may not even be advisable sometimes to speak to them. How hard is it to say a prayer?
That's what real Christianity looks like.
Jesus told us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:43-48). A Really hard admonition to follow and many people simply cannot do it.
The proud, the boastful, the hypocrites.
In their brand of Christianity, the aim is to demonstrate their own superiority to the world and hold any who disagree with them in visceral contempt.
They are impervious to fraternal correction and gods in their own mind.
They are wholly unworthy of respect by every rational calculation.
Still, but not for the Grace of God, so go I. So, we pray for them.
Our prayer is not to be the hypocrite's prayer of condescension (Luke 18:9-14) but a genuine appeal to heaven that they be loosed from whatever it is that vexes them, and that God will enlighten you and correct you on however your behavior may have provoked their wickedness.
The hypocrite uses a request for prayer as a pretense for self-elevation.
Do not be like such people.
The true Christian is a broken person, not a puffed-up blowhard like this type.
Psalm 34 tells us that God is near to the broken hearted and Matthew 5 tells us that those who mourn are blessed.
In most cases, an angry person, a disagreeable person, a vengeful person, is a wounded person. Sometimes, kindness can reach them. Sometimes, their arrogance impedes that, and you simply must shake the dust from your feet as testimony against them. Even so, your obligation to pray for them is still not absolved. You must prayer for their genuine good regardless of how distasteful that is and how much you feel that they are deserving of nothing but the very worst that could happen to them. I say this from the point of someone who knows.
Taxes collectors and prostitutes entered heaven ahead of many of the so-called religious and if God can save me, He can surely save an evil, fringe-wearing pharisee. I do not have to like him (and I certainly don't, and neither does anyone else I know) but God commanded that I pray for him and so I do.
Blessed are those who mourn
Christianity turns logic on its head in every way.
Do not envy the rich man with the easy life. Don't envy the person whose life seems to be perfect. Things are often not what they seem.
God will often allow us to suffer many humiliating defeats in life for our own good.
The beaten and beleaguered man who turns wholly to God because he has no choice is certainly more to be envied than the rich and powerful who don't give God a thought (Luke 12:16-21).
We are wise indeed to heed the question Jesus asks in Mark 8:36.
How does it all tie together?
I once read a story that goes something like this.
A group of a few hundred classmates were given the assignment of blowing up identically colored ballons and writing their own name on their ballon.
They tossed them in a big hall and then were given the assignment of trying to find their particular balloon.
A significant time passed with limited success.
They repeated the exercise but this time, each person was told to give whatever balloon they found to the owner.
In a very short amount of time, each person had their own balloon.
When we help our neighbor find his balloon, we will find our own.
Sadly, some people only have enough hot air to blow up their own balloon. All the worse for them.
Faith, Hope, Love
Faith is the knowledge that God can reach them.
Hope is the desire that He will.
Love is God working through us towards that goal.
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